Week 2.14: Grace

Week 2.14: Grace. Ah, Grace.

I remember in CCBC days when we were required to read a book called Why Grace Changes Everything. And I remember one of my classmates who had a penchant for folksy joking asking me with dramatically feigned perturbation: "Who is this Grace and why does she have to go around changing everything?!?" Well, that's the beauty of Grace. She changes everything...if you let her.

And now, I'd like to share a story with you about Grace changing everything.

Rewind with me to my later high school days. I was 15 or 16 when I first met a girl named Stephanie. (She's the lovely bride you see in this week's picture, by the way.) I walked into Stephanie's life at the height of teenage turmoil and drama...for both of us. A series of misunderstandings followed by my dating someone she liked before she even knew I existed sealed the deal against any chance of friendship for our silly, prejudiced hearts.

See, she thought I was dating the boy before I actually was...and the boy actually had a girlfriend who, at one time had been her best friend. And later on, down the twisted road, the boy (who was totally not worth the drama and tension) confessed to me that he had foolishly bounced back and forth from his girlfriend to her best friend (Stephanie) and back to the girlfriend. Why, oh, why, didn't I see that confession as I do now??

Anyway, I can sum up my relationship with Stephanie during high school years as nasty. I think we could've been friends. I would like to think that. I don't know. I was pretty naive and starry eyed despite being treated like an outcast by most of the girls I met from that time and place. My boyfriend was the hot one. The one all the girls wanted. (I'm throwing up in my mouth a little bit as I write this sap.)

Fast forward a bit. I married that boyfriend. We moved away to California. I heard Stephanie had a baby at some point. All of us from that time and place chased after dreams and wandered through our 20's. My dream turned into a nightmare. The fairytale ended in divorce. Most of you know the details. I won't bore you.

Almost 5 years ago I moved back to New Mexico after being gone for a total of 9 years. I was single and staring a 1o year reunion in the face. Still a bit unsure of where to go with my life, I was back in my hometown and sorting some things out. That summer I went to a triple graduation party for some kids I had known since their childhoods. Stephanie was there and one of the first people I saw when I walked through the door.

She almost ran to greet me and made an urgent request to speak to me alone. (I have to admit, there was a decent amount of trepidation in my heart when she did this.) To my great surprise she told me that she had been hoping to run into me. She confessed that she was well aware she had managed to make my time in late high school fairly unpleasant...that she had done it intentionally. But, with the passing of time, she had come to regret her conduct and was asking me then and there to forgive her. Not just forgive her...could we please be friends??

I forgave and agreed to be friends. What followed were some great memories...specifically her attendance at two of my crazy parties, the Tacky Prom Dress and Reject Bridesmaid Bowling and the Pirate Soiree. Time passed. Each of us followed very different courses in life, but every time we ran into each other we were genuinely delighted to see one another. Already, Grace was in action.

Fast forward again to this autumn. I heard Stephanie had met someone. They were engaged to be married. Soon after, I heard she was looking for me. She wanted me as her photographer on her wedding day. On October 24th, 2009, Stephanie got a new last name for the first time. And I got to watch the whole day unfold. I got to celebrate with her and her new husband. Even better, I got to be her photographer.

From arch enemies to fast friends. From spectator to photographer. Stephanie is my friend. Grace won out. Grace gave me exceedingly, abundantly more than I could have ever asked or imagined. Grace went back into a time and space where I had been left wanting more and answered that ache. Grace allowed Stephanie's mom to speak encouragement to me on Stephanie's wedding day. She told me that I had grown up gracefully. Thank goodness for Grace and how she goes around changing everything.