Week 3.29: Leany

Week 3.29: Leany is a photo I took last spring. I heart this barn. I love going to my friend's house where I have to pass Leany. I also love this photo because even though the trees are barren and things might look a bit bleak at first glance, they're not.

It's a funny thing to be Leany. Not perfect. Not entirely junk. Not fantastic. Not terrible. A bit uncertain. Maybe a bit more than meets the eye. Leany.

That's the track I've been on lately.

And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.

It's tough being Leany. But there is a certain quality of character that comes when you have a bit more slant than normal. Eventually, when you walk away from certain experiences, there is a jaunty to the Leany. Hopefully.

That's the hope I've held onto lately.

I have held in things that are not ready for public consumption but in doing so I have had to fight being consumed by them. I feel a bit Leany especially in my soul. But that's not an entirely bad thing.

Because, at the end of the day, I have some pretty incredible things to lean into: the God who created me, my family who loves me, my friends, and my life experiences...among other things.

I have felt drownt (yes, that is a word in my world), suffocated, powerless and defeated. And yet, I have felt defended, sheltered, protected and loved.

We all know life is tough. But I know my life is mine to live and no one else's. No big shoes to fill. Just my own shoes to fill.

There is freedom in the leaning.

One of the songs woven into my identity from formative years says:

The same sun that melts the wax can harden clay
And the same rain that drowns the rat will grow the hay
And the mighty wind that knocks us down
If we lean to it will drive our fears away

Special kudos to Amy Grant and her song, How Can We See That Far, which, in reality is about marriage, but can translate to all manner of life circumstances and relationships.

I'm leaning into that wind. Leany might be uncomfortable and exhausting, but it's worth it in the end.