Week 2.35: Underappreciated, Overlooked

Yes. It's a spork. I took Week 2.35: Underappreciated, Overlooked here on the university campus in town. It was part of a friendly competition I organized last summer with a few photographer types. I need to do another one of those, I think...but that's a "side-note-to-self" thing...

Anyway, I'm continuing in the vein of the Pep Talking Girl with this post...because a few things have happened in the past few days and I want to write them down somewhere. The basic undercurrent of it all is that someone called me out on how hard I am on myself. And this person has called me out before...but she was determined to get through to me. And you know, when someone looks you dead in the eye and asks: "Why are you so hard on yourself?" And then follows you to your car and asks the same question again...and then calls you to add to the conversation (before you've even turned the car off) that you should, at the very least, respect the determination, right?

Well. I think I should pay some homage to the determination exhibited by my friend.

Admittedly, when I opened my mouth to defend myself, I was at a loss. Because I don't usually see through the lens of "Hard on Myself" anyway. But she made a great case. And I know there's some weird junk in there that I argue with on a regular basis. I feel the need to tell you that I fear I'll come off as arrogant if I list my own "skills" and "accomplishments" and the fact that I fear coming off as arrogant further underscores my friend's point that I'm hard on myself.

Mess in a dress. Right here, folks.

Still, I'd rather list the list my friend gave me. It's a start to my own Little Girl Pep Talk...She said (and I'm just listing things, not repeating the conversation verbatim):

"You're awesome! You don't even know how rock star you are!
You're an awesome photographer! You keep getting clients in a tough economy!
You work so hard for what you want!
You're hot! No, seriously! If I was a single, straight guy, I'd be trying everything to make you mine!
You've done cool things with your life! You lived in Hawaii, for gosh sake! And you're still doing cool things!
Your ex is an a--h---! And you left him! You didn't get stuck with some jerk because you were afraid to leave! You didn't settle. And you keep getting stronger everyday! There are so many girls who stick with losers but YOU didn't!!! You're free. You get to do whatever you want! And you get a second chance to do better and more of what you want!
Oh, AND, you're great with people! I mean, really great with people! And people who are great with people GO PLACES!
So, quit being so hard on yourself. Cut yourself a break!"

And then...and then, another friend pointed out to me that what I do is make people really happy...especially with my photography. I make clients happy. I just had a recent client email me and tell me that she'd never seen a picture of herself that she liked...until that night when she saw the gallery I had posted of her son's wedding. (And her sister later told me that she never smiles and they were surprised at how many smiles I captured!)

And then...and then, another friend told me that I'm the kind of girl that could be the President's wife. I laughed pretty hard. But she kept pressing it. She was dead serious. She said, it doesn't matter how smart or attractive or amazing a guy running for office is, if the wife is no good or a loose cannon or unpredictable he'll never go anywhere. Odd compliment. But I loved it.

And then...and then, another friend (who happens to be a phenomenal photographer featured in galleries and sold year round for hundreds of dollars per image) asked me to try to see her show before it ends tomorrow. Yeah. She wanted to know what I thought of her work. My opinion mattered to her.

And then...and then, I made this grumpy client laugh. Really laugh. Today. At the cafe. I've known him for years. And he's a real grouch. But today...Today I re-enacted Little Girl Pep Talk with my co-worker and he laughed out loud (hard)! It was amazing. That's what makes my silly little job so rewarding.

I guess the point that I'm getting at is that I look at myself in a certain light...I view myself as a bit of a spork. I look at what I haven't done or seem challenged by...I look at the Underappreciated, Overlooked as if it's all I've got. I see my "skills" and "accomplishments" as sporks. But my friends see me as company's-coming-polish-and-lay-out-the-best-silver-silverware. Awesome.

Mess in a dress humbled.

And, to wrap it all up, I offer you a glimpse of my favorite movie...and a self-perceived spork, Julie Andrews playing Maria (who was really quite beautiful and amazing) in The Sound of Music (one of my Top Ten Favorite Movies EVER) as she sings I Have Confidence in Me!!!! (The images are lousy, but this song always makes me smile...)