Week 25: Persistence

This week I've been in Oregon...My parents gave me one of their frequent flier tickets as a graduation gift. I chose the Pacific Northwest to celebrate graduation with my sister (in Vancouver/Portland) and my dear Wahkuna (in Seattle).

What was meant to be a time of celebration and decompression has turned out to be a series of Plan B's...First off, I dropped my dear New Girl (my camera) in airport security while bending down to retrieve my quart-sized ziplock full of make-up/toiletries that had fallen...It wasn't until two flights later at 36,000 feet that I discovered the lcd screen on New Girl was dead...but New Girl still takes pictures. phew! I resolved to love the challenge of shooting semi old-school without the instant playback I've grown accustomed to.

Then there was the subsequent winter storm that struck the Pacific Northwest with a vengeance. Pouring rains combined with melting snows led to flooding, landslides and road closures. Most notable was the closure of I-5, the road between Portland and Seattle. And it wasn't just the road that was closed...Amtrak stopped running. No way to meet up with my co-photographer in Seattle...

But a shattered lcd screen and cancelled trip pale in comparison to the demise of a marriage. Yes. I have been witness to yet more devastation. The tears... heartache... confusion... hope... disappointment... sleeplessness... ignored phone calls... frustration... love... anger... mistrust... oh, yes. All too familiar and somehow even more upsetting when it's happening to someone other than me.

I'm still processing. It's been quite the week. And in the midst of it all, I hear The Fray's How to Save a Life album playing as my soundtrack. It goes well with the endless rain and overcast skies. And I feel a sense of balancing precariously on the edge again. A balancing act I can't win alone. The weight of the world and nowhere to go but down.

How perfect then, to share photos from Oregon, especially the waterfalls of Wahkeena and Multnomah. Still, I think my favorite shot is the fern in the hillside framed behind a layer of melting storm (seen at the top)...

Thus, Week 25: Persistence. A storm that brought record precipitation...a storm that cut me off at the pass...a storm that changed landscapes...a storm that didn't kill this persistent, persevering little fern...and a poem that echoes some of my sentiments from this week...

Relentless Storm

Watching from the outside
seems like it should be easier
But seeing tears fall before
anyone else knows they’re coming
Shatters like nothing before

Awkward silences, missed glances
laden with meaninglessness
Roll into bittersweet memories
slicing the hearts that were once
Swelled with eternal intention

How is it the sky is rent
over again with selfish vanity
But no one wants to notice
torrents pour out their impending
Storms like others before

Unstoppable breaking, missing pieces
languish with heartlessness
Fall into regretless monologues
separating the hearts ever more
Silenced with forever goodbye

2009 Sarah Doty

And now a few verses from a far more accomplished poet than myself, David, son of Jesse. A shepherd. A king. A man after God's own heart:

Trust in the LORD and do good;
Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
Delight yourself also in the LORD,
and He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Commit (roll off onto) your ways to the LORD,
Trust also in Him,
And He shall bring it to pass...
I have been young,
and now I am old;
Yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken,
Nor His descendants begging bread.
He is ever (all the day) merciful, and lends;
And His descendants are blessed.
Psalm 37:3, 4, 5, 25, 26

I would have lost heart,
unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the LORD
In the land of the living.
Wait in faith on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!
Psalm 27:13, 14